Raising The Bar: 2010
Who watched Obama’s DNC speech? Everyone? Hope so, motherfuckers. Obama loves gay people.
That is an entirely blonde Brent Everett you see before you, circa August 2008. What do you think, no good? You know, I’ve been staring at it for, like, ever now and I don’t exactly think it’s hideous but it just doesn’t do much for his complexion. The dark hair goes much better with his dark features. I will say, though, that ten times worse than this were his frosted tips. What was that? He really tried to make those highlights work. For a long time…
What happens when you mix a group of your closest whorish friends with a fully stocked dive bar and streaming video to your smartphones? If said scenario is directed by Chi Chi LaRue, a lot of fucked up shit can happen. I am constantly introduced to new things I’ve never before seen in porn in watching her films. And when basing a story on memories and flashbacks, it gives one even more room for versatility. A group of friends at a bar make a bet to see who has the hottest sex filmed using their phones. Honestly, they’re all good. First story: ~Reality star~ Steven Daigle fucks the bartender who, surprise, is straight. And, now this is really great, another story follows two guys into a private room in what looks like an S&M bar, where they begin to sniff blow off each other. Now you know I myself am in recovery and haven’t taken an 8 ball to the nose is quite some time, but that being said I see nothing wrong in the use of drugs for the sake of art. It’s like smoking. Yes it’s bad for you, but it sure looks hot on film. I am guilty of glamorizing drug use in stories I’ve written, hell I’ve written scenes exactly like this one, in a bathroom, doing lines off each other, then fucking. So essentially, Chi Chi LaRue just matriculated one of my fantasies into reality. Bravo. By the way, I don’t know if it was real blow. It sure was messy and didn’t look like it got truly snorted. If it was real shit, what a waste lolz. Remember that scene in Less Than Zero? When Jami Gertz pours her coke down the drain?
“Oh, man, what a waste!”
“What a waste….”
“Call a plumber.”
God I love that movie. Alright, now down to business. The best was saved for Brent, in my humble opinion. One of the friends goes into his story of how he cruised some guy (Brent) at a sex shop, and the worker watched the whole thing via a security camera, AND jerked off to it. Crazy, right? IT GETS CRAZIER. The whole thing is filmed at Chi Chi LaRue’s in WeHo. Look how pretty! How well stocked! And so pink! It’s better than Babeland and for sure better than anything here in Boston, even that dump next to The Machine. So much blown glass. And if you’re into the marijuana, they’ve got paraphernalia for that, too. No I’ve never been (since I’m an East Coast bum) but the day a store opens on this side of the country, I will apply for a job, pronto.
So, the scene. Mitchell Rock is a big burly top turned big nelly bottom by our own Brent Everett. Who else could do it but Brent? They scope each other out in the store then just walk right into a back room for more privacy. What gall! Even the door is pink. Bless. The backroom there is stalked with sexual goodies but this scene isn’t all toys. It’s 37 minutes long, that’s above average. At one point while Brent sucks off Mitchell he gives the camera a look that made me shiver. His eyes screamed sex. Then he finds, magically, the perfect glass dildo. Yes, that is Brent rubbing a lubed dildo over his nipple. Yes, those are pink labelled water bottles behind him! Have you ever? I have never. What follows is LOUD angry sex, Brent fucks the shit out of Mitchell while the lonely worker (Jason Longh) watches, and jerks. He was my least favorite part of this, I wasn’t particularly impressed by him or his load. I also don’t care for more than two guys in a scene, though, so he might have just been extra baggage for me. I just tended to forget all about him whilst watching the magic between Brent and Mitchell unfold. Yeah, it’s that good.
Rating: A. Buy it. Please don’t watch it on a gaytube sight, the quality won’t do it any justice.
Next up: Little Big League and Brent Everett’s AMAZING baseball playing skills.