But perhaps the saddest news of the week as far as we here at the Shitz offices are concered came with the passing of Count von Count. That little purple pointy eared Transylvanian with the three fingers will forever hold a special place in my heart; for it was he who taught me at an early age how to count to two. I’ll never forget that day when he pointed at Maria’s chest and uttered those words “One, Two. Two titties under Maria’s shirt.” Oh, that never happened? Ooops. ah ah ah ah. The Count leaves behind his wife Countess von Backwards and his cat Fatatia. He is also survived by an Uncle Uno and his Countmobile. Oh the fukkin Count! Gonna miss you little buddy.
With that out of the way, howzabout we get to the Twofer bizness of the day? This week’s cover girl is pretty much an unknown. For you fantasy football douchebags, you would call her a sleeper pick. A super rack nobody ever talks about but should. I know not much about Kelli Garner except that she is too buttoned up in her show Pan Am. Girl has got to let the twins out to breathe and she will be a lottery pick in no time.
Sorry, but how can you not go crazy for a chick who has the fukkin’ hootzpah to stand in front of a Disney/ABC banner and just unbotton that top, touch her elbows together and show Mickey Mouse that Minnie ain’t got shit. That’s right Magic Kingdom… I’ve got your Thunder Mountains right here!!!